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At times, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he states. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I surpass everyone else … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often succeeded by a “crash”, where he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his actions, making him highly sensitive to disapproval from those around him. He came to wonder he might have NPD after looking up his traits online – and was later confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment without having previously arrived at that conclusion personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they harbor beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what the term implies the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people conceal it, due to significant negative perception associated with the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through actions such as seeking admiration,” the professor explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

While a significant majority of people identified as having NPD are males, research points out this number does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the covert form, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on social media. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and being turned down,” she shares, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I tend to switch to defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Even with this response – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples as a child. “I’ve been learning continuously which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she says. There were no boundaries when my family members were belittling me when I was growing up.”

Origins of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, struggles with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for psychological counseling via government-funded care (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

John has only told a handful of people about his mental health status, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to comprehend my actions, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the existence of online advocates and the expansion of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number